Sun, Mar 29, 2015

What Happens When we Give up Control?

When we give up control we are able to let go of expectations. Expectations about events, people and relationships can keep us spiraling into disappointment. 

Here are a few questions that you can ask yourself to assess why you are experiencing need for control:

• What feeling is underneath our need to control? Be mindful of these feelings, allow yourself to feel them. 
• What is fueling this need for control? Try to make a connection to past events. Step back and look at the reality of this situation. 
  
• Is this something that you can truly control? If not, remind yourself of the many things that you do have control over. 

Self Qualities
Calmness, Curiosity, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Creativity, Courage, Connectedness

*IFS Theray 8 C's of Self

When we can accept the things that we cannot change and take a curious stance we can fall into our true self easier. The IFS Model describes the core self as having these traits or parts: Calmness, Curiosity, Compssion, Confidence, Creativity, Courage and Connectedness . We can recognize when we are in our true self when we are exhibiting many of these traits.  It is in self that we experience that centered and grounded feeling. When we fall into our true self we are able to let go of fear. When we allow ourselves to "go with the flow" we can find peace. 

Accept the things we cannot change

If we can be honest with ourselves we can acknowledge that things always have a way of working themselves out...our fear, worry and self-doubt are not helpful and do not improve our outcome.

It is what it is.

Go with the flow