 Sheryl Isaacs is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is currently working in Scotts Valley seeing clients in private practice.
Sheryl has worked with families and children that have experienced a wide range of issues including: anxiety, trauma, depression, autism, ADHD, developmental issues, behavioral issues, divorce, bulimia, grief, communication and self esteem issues. She provides parental coaching, child therapy, sibling counseling, family therapy, marriage counseling, and individual counseling. AuthorArchives
March 2020
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What Now?3/17/2020
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Something to Remember5/23/2016 Sheryl A. Isaacs MS, LMFT 92557 Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I truly love this song! As parents it is so easy to get caught up in the "have to" in life. With children, regardless of age, there are so many things that must be done daily. Housework alone can be a never ending list. Dishes and laundry always seems to multiply daily...something that is never really caught up! It is so important to remember that in the midst of the hustle and bustle we have our kids for a very short time. As I continue to grow older I realize more and more how very quickly time passes. Today is the only day that our child will ever be the age that they are...tomorrow they are already a day older. Today is the day that we are making memories, living out values for our children and even preparing for our grandchildren. The investment me make in our children today will touch generations. If we truly put it in perspective the dishes, the laundry and the kitchen floor will be dirty again. You will always have the opportunity to clean your house and make it spotless in the future. We will never again the time lost with our kids today. They will not be this age again in the future. What a message we send when we verbalize: "The dishes can wait, let's play a game!" "I will take the day off to go to your game!" "Let's just go to the beach and play today!" We send the message you are important, you matter! That is an amazing gift to give your children and your grandchildren. These lessons will endure through the generations in your family. You will teach them self-care and model that even as an adult you need to have fun! This is a lesson that many do not learn, a lesson that I teach adults in therapy. I challenge you to let some of the "busy work" go. I can guarantee that the more you engage with your kids the better your relationship will be and the less stressed you will be. Go on, get your play on!  Fun at the beach!
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CHORE CHART SYSTEM FOR KIDS8/28/2015
I settled for a quick improvised system using what I could find. I grabbed some raffle tickets and four little tubs to use as banks. I bought letter stickers to label the tubs and used a Mason jar I had at home.
I labeled the Mason jar with "Chore Tickets" and the tubs with each boy's name. Each ticket had the chore and price earned on the back. The boys were instructed to put each completed chore ticket in their bank. Very low tech! I had to make do with what I had. I was not impressed. The funny thing is the boys loved it! They love pulling the tickets out of the jar and the element of surprise. They are not allowed to dig for higher priced chores, what you pull out is what you get. Some of the chores they were not fond of, but persevered. They even had the idea I should put a couple tickets in for "do a free chore." I recycle the tickets back onto the Mason Jar the next day. If they happen to pull a chore that does not need to be done, then they try their luck again. Many times it is easy to forget how capable the children are. My four year old grandson is folding laundry, not just towels. By allowing children to do chores they are learning many lessons:
For me this was a great reminder that it is not about being elaborate. I struggle at times making things "bigger" and forget that simple is good. We just need a "good enough" system, not a perfect one. It is really about instilling those values that we want the kids to have. I think I have enjoyed the system just as much, if not more than the kids. It is pretty rewarding seeing how proud the boys are of themselves for a job well done.
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We were made to need rest. It is during that "down time" that we can recharge our batteries. Our creativity will get sparked and we will be able to be MORE productive. The right kind of distraction will increase your ability to problem solve. Who hasn't had the ephipany in the shower while relaxing under the hot water? Time off from work has been shown to increase productivity, willigness to work and create more balance. Think about that statement in terms of what down time can do for your family.
During family time we teach our children how to engage with others and bond. We are modeling for them how to have relationships with others. We will be teaching our kids that they matter, they come first. It gives each member a time to connect with each other and bond during positive experiences. What valuable lessons to teach! Midfulness family walk Look at #5 :)
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Self-Esteem in Children8/8/2013
How Parents Increase Self-Esteem in Children#self-esteem #children #parenting #childdevelopment When I refer to self-esteem I am referring to a child's sense of worth and confidence in themselves. Self-esteem involves many different beliefs about self. These beliefs are often formed during the developmental years. Self-esteem affects how we view ourselves in relation to the world and in the world. It is related to how we assess our outward appearance. It impacts our emotions and our ability to express them. It is related to what behaviors we engage in and the behaviors that we disengage from.
Many families desire to help children have healthy self-esteem but parents can have a difficult time with this. Some parents are afraid to praise their children too much. They worry that their child will “get a big head,” get “too big for their britches,” or believe that they can not be humble if praised too often. How can children be praised in a way that will increase their self-esteem without inflating their ego so they think of themselves better than others? This is a question that plagues many parents. It is important to praise children for effort not results. As parents, we need to recognize the hard work that children engage in. Things do not need to be perfect to praise children. You can start by describing what you see. Let’s say that your child was supposed to pick up their room. What does the room look like? Did the child make the bed, put books on the shelf or put their clothes away? Tell them, “I like the way that you put all your clothes away in your drawers.” Be specific about what you see. Tell them how you feel. Are you proud of them, happy that they listened the first time? Label the behavior that you are praising. Were they diligent, hard working or have good listening skills? For children to thrive it is important that they are taught to express their feelings in a healthy way. When children are able to control their emotions and express their feelings they feel in control of themselves. This feeling of being in control of ones emotions fosters positive self-esteem in children. Children need their feelings acknowledged. They need our help in building their “feelings vocabulary.” We can do this by helping them label their feelings. If they are mad let them express it verbally. Help them put words to the anger, “Sounds like you are so mad you would like to ______________.” When we don't recognize or acknowledge a child's feelings they begin to think that they can not trust their own feelings. We inadvertently create an alternate reality for our children by not acknowledging their feelings. Some of the common things that are said to children are, "You can't be tired you just had a nap," "You really aren't hot" or "You aren't hungry you just ate." Children can begin to doubt their reality and their feelings. This will have a negative impact in their self-esteem. Children are in need of undivided attention. They need to experience our full attention. Stop what you are doing and focus on them. Get down to their level and look them in the eyes. When we take time out to engage with children we are sending them the message that they are important to us. When we listen intently to their stories and ideas we are helping them understand that they are interesting and worth listening to. We also teach important social skills that will help children have social competence in social settings. Children need to be respected. Parenting is frustrating at times. It is difficult to not become angry at times. We must take care that when we discipline that we talk to our children in a respectful manner. A good thing to remember is this question: Would you treat another person in the manner that you treat your child? We don't commonly shame, slap, push or yell at others in our lives. These behaviors, when directed at children, can create negative labels that children will carry with them all their life. These labels turn into a negative internal dialogue that keeps a child bound in low self-esteem. Children are in need of autonomy to increase their level of self-esteem. Children need to make appropriate choices. Let children choose what clothes they would like to wear, allow choices for snack, free time and other appropriate developmental choices. By allowing a child to make choices we are showing them that we trust them to make the good decisions. This will teach children to trust their choices in life and develop their own sense of self. When we neglect to foster our child's autonomy we are setting them up to be indecisive, anxious and overly dependent on others. It is important that children struggle some. We can not swoop in every time our child experiences some difficulty. Many times as parents our first instinct is to help our child. We want to “save” them from the struggle or perhaps we are too busy and can not wait for them while they struggle. When a child struggles and is able to complete the task at hand they gain a sense of mastery that allows them the knowledge that they are capable and competent beings. As children grow they must know this or they will stifle themselves and not try new things or seek out challenges. Children need to have time to just “be.” Time to play uninterrupted without us rushing in to structure their time or monopolize their play. Allow your child to be engrossed in their play without interrupting the flow of their play. Too many children today are structured so closely that they are not able to use their imaginations in play. Free play is relaxing for children. It allows creativity to grow and blossom. Developmentally children need free play. Encourage children to have a wide network of extended family and friends. Increase their world experiences outside of the home. When children have a wide base of support it helps them to see that they are important and loved by others. Interacting with others can increase their skill set in many areas and help foster a feeling of competence. Our children will face many things as they grow. They will experience hurt and disappointment, injury and illness and loss. By helping your child to have a strong sense of self and healthy self-esteem you can prepare them to weather the storms of life. Children that have a higher level of self-esteem are better equipped to make and keep positive friendships and work through difficult situations that they face.
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10 Habits of a Healthy Parenting7/10/2013
 1. Children are valued for being who they are. They are cherished for their uniqueness. Talents and abilities are encouraged, whatever they may be.
2. Firm limits are set with appropriate choices. Limits are followed through with love and respect. The consequence of the child's behavior is tied as closely as possible to the natural consequence that would occur from the behavior. 3. Children are taught that their behavior impacts others in either a positive or negative way. They are held accountable for their actions and required to make restitution when necessary. 4. Parents are not afraid to share their imperfections with their children. When wrong, parents openly admit it and apologize, seeking forgiveness from their child. 5. All of the children’s needs are met: physical, mental, emotional, developmental, medical, spiritual and basic life needs. 6. Children are responded to when expressing needs and wants. Needs and wants are not ignored. Children are taught to sort out a want versus a need. 7. Children are not expected to act in a way that is above their developmental level. They are accepted as they are developmentally, whether they are delayed or not. 8. Children are allowed to behave like children. They are not expected to behave as miniature adults. Parents recognize that circumstances can affect how a child behaves and helps their child to recognize these triggers that increase negative behavior. (i.e., being tired, hungry, sick) 9. Parents take time to really listen to their child, utilizing all their senses. When children talk to their parent, their parent takes time out from what they are doing to listen, making eye contact and getting down to their level. 10. Parents respect how their child feels and thinks. Feelings and thoughts are not dismissed but validated and valued. Children are not told "That doesn't hurt" or "You aren't that sad." They are allowed to feel their feelings and have their own ideas. It is not necessary to be a perfect parent. We just need to be a "good enough" parent. As parents we all have days that we struggle with life's circumstances that affect our parenting. The important thing is that we are honest with our children when this occurs. Use those difficult days to help your child see how to label their emotions and work through frustration as you model appropriate behavior for them. Therapy can help parents who are facing life challenges such as co-parenting issues, communication problems, co-dependency, behavioral issues or depression. Today it is not uncommon for parents to face multiple struggles. Parenting is the hardest job that you will ever have and the most rewarding. Therapy can help lower stress created by life's circumstances by providing a supportive network and solid research based interventions to improve your family's daily life. |
- Therapy for Your Family and Groovy Gifts
- About Me
- Child Therapy
- Family Therapy
- Forms for Therapy Scotts Valley and Santa Cruz
- Therapy Articles for your Children and Family
- Sensory workshop for Parents and Children, Scotts Valley
- Kindergarten Readiness Toolkit
- Free worksheets for therapy
- Resources for Families in Scotts Valley and Santa Cruz
- Scotts Valley Therapist will be out of office
- Groovy Gifts by Sheryl
- Groovy Tie Dye Shirts
- Groovy Gifts Tie Dye Special Order
- Groovy Gifts Tie Dye Shirts
- Child and Family Therapist Insurances Accepted
- Give Away June 20232
- Therapy for Your Family and Groovy Gifts
- About Me
- Child Therapy
- Family Therapy
- Forms for Therapy Scotts Valley and Santa Cruz
- Therapy Articles for your Children and Family
- Sensory workshop for Parents and Children, Scotts Valley
- Kindergarten Readiness Toolkit
- Free worksheets for therapy
- Resources for Families in Scotts Valley and Santa Cruz
- Scotts Valley Therapist will be out of office
- Groovy Gifts by Sheryl
- Groovy Tie Dye Shirts
- Groovy Gifts Tie Dye Special Order
- Groovy Gifts Tie Dye Shirts
- Child and Family Therapist Insurances Accepted
- Give Away June 20232
- Therapy for Your Family and Groovy Gifts
- About Me
- Child Therapy
- Family Therapy
- Forms for Therapy Scotts Valley and Santa Cruz
- Therapy Articles for your Children and Family
- Sensory workshop for Parents and Children, Scotts Valley
- Kindergarten Readiness Toolkit
- Free worksheets for therapy
- Resources for Families in Scotts Valley and Santa Cruz
- Scotts Valley Therapist will be out of office
- Groovy Gifts by Sheryl
- Groovy Tie Dye Shirts
- Groovy Gifts Tie Dye Special Order
- Groovy Gifts Tie Dye Shirts
- Child and Family Therapist Insurances Accepted
- Give Away June 20232
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Groovy Gifts by Sheryl
Many hand crocheted items that are unique and personal, one of a kind gifts. Groovy Tie Dye, Sarcastic Stuffies, Groovy Pets, Therapy Rocks, Groovy Totes and Tie Dye T-shirts. Also sensory toys, fun toys, therapeutic toys, psycho-educational items for clients , therapists or friends. Online Store! Services Provided
-Child Therapy -Family Counseling -Marriage Counseling -Parental Coaching -Sibling Counseling Serving:
Scotts Valley Ben Lomond Brookdale Boulder Creek Santa Cruz Soquel Aptos Live Oak Watsonville |
What Clients are saying:
"Sheryl has helped me with my children's challenging behavior. She has been very helpful with support for me and my children. She has provided me with tools and resources that have help me be a better parent and partner. I strongly recommend her to anyone who is facing difficulties in their relationships." -Yelp Review "Sheryl lets me feel totally understood and cared for..." "I feel unconditional acceptance and heard by Sheryl." Focus
-Parenting Struggles -Anger MGT -Depression -School Problems -Grief and Loss -Effects of Divorce -Child Anxiety -Your Anxiety -Co-parenting Strategies -Communication -Sibling Rivalry -Resources for Early Intervention -Coping with Developmental Delays -Perinatal Loss -Miscarriage |
Copyright 2013, Sheryl A. Isaacs , ALL RIGHTS RESERVED