Integrative Therapy for Children and Families
  • Therapy for Your Family
    • Why Therapy?
  • About Me
  • Child Therapy
    • How much is a parent involved in their child's therapy?
  • Family Therapy
    • Blog for families seeking help through counseling >
      • Blog Disclaimer
      • Parent Coaching for Scotts Valley
      • Inspirational Quotes for Daily Life, Sheryl A. Isaacs
  • Forms for Therapy Scotts Valley and Santa Cruz
  • Therapy Articles for your Children and Family
  • Information about Children Groups and Parent Workshops Scotts Valley
  • Sensory workshop for Parents and Children, Scotts Valley
  • Kindergarten Readiness Toolkit
  • Free worksheets for therapy
  • Resources for Families in Scotts Valley and Santa Cruz
  • Scotts Valley Therapist will be out of office
  • Inspirational Items that Inspire
  • Child and Family Therapist Insurances Accepted

The Affects of Domestic Violence on Children

by Sheryl A. Isaacs, LMFT #92557
*Compassionate *Committed *Caring
Scotts Valley, CA
Child Therapist and Family Therapist
*Parental Counseling
*Sibling Counseling
*Marriage / Couples Counseling
*Individual Counseling

How does Domestic Violence Affect Children?

Little girl with hand on head looking down sadly because of  domestic violence

When children live in a home that has domestic violence they are experiencing trauma. It does not matter if the child experiences the DV firsthand or witnesses the DV happening to another family member. A child that lives in a home with any form of DV is affected in a negative manner.

 When stress is experienced there is an increase in cortisol within our body.   This is true for adults and children.  When DV occurs repeatedly toxic stress is experienced.   When toxic stress  occurs we areessentially bathing our brain in cortisol.   This also occurs to a child while they are in the mother's womb.  If a mother experiences high levels of stress their cortisol passes the placental barrier and the child is affected. This increase in cortisol causes physical, emotional, psychological, social and behavioral changes within a child. 

Studies have shown that children that experience repeated trauma/toxic stress show a  smaller than average brain size compared to peers that have not experienced this repeated trauma. Cognitive function is impaired and children experience difficultly with tasks that require memory. There is a noticeable decline in attention span and ability to focus.  It is difficult for these children to regulate themselves or self-soothe.  These children are "on edge" and experience a heightened startle response.          

Children that are living in a DV environment experience higher amounts of fear in regard to their environment. Their basic sense of safety and trust is undermined by the out of control feeling they experience within the home environment.  They too, experience helplessness and depression.  Children internalize blame and blame themselves for the DV that occurs in the home.  They feel that it is something that they did or did not do that caused the DV.  They can experience problems sleeping, act out aggressively or regress in their behaviors. 

Children are not able to function at school and may not want to go to school.  At times, they may feel that if they are with the abused parent they can in someway prevent the abuse. If children do go to school they are not able to concentrate and learn due to fears of what is happening at home.  Children may be labeled as ADHD due to inability to concentrate, behavioral issues at school and issues socially with other children. 

The affects of DV last a life time and set the child up to repeat the DV cycle with their own children. If our children form a negative attachment to us then they will not be prepared to attach to their children in a  positive  manner.  DV sets up generations to be affected in negative and damaging ways.

It is important that if you experienced DV within your childhood that you work through your trauma.  We can only parent how we learned to parent.  If  our parents were unable to attach to us in a healthy manner, we will be unable to attach to our children in a healthy manner.  It is important to recognize the unhealthy pattern and break the cycle.  Counseling can help you learn how to strengthen the attachment you have with your child and build a secure bond that can affect future generations of your family in a healthy way.

If you are in a DV relationship seek help to find support to make sure that you can get out of the relationship safely. 

Walnut Women's Center 24 Hour help line
866-269-2559

Defense de Mujeres
888-900-4232

Women's Crisis Support 685-3737 
Provides emergency shelter for DV and sexual assault victims

DV Hotline
800-799-SAFE

Family Counseling Mental Health Community
Services Provided

-Child Therapy
-Family Counseling
-Marriage Counseling
-Parental Coaching
-Sibling Counseling


Focus

-Parenting Struggles
-Anger MGT
-Depression
-School Problems  
-Grief and Loss
-Effects of Divorce
-Child Anxiety
-Your Anxiety
-Co-parenting Strategies
-Communication 
-Sibling Rivalry
-Resources for Early
 Intervention
-Coping with Developmental Delays
-Perinatal Loss
-Miscarriage




What Clients are saying:

Sheryl has helped me with my children's challenging behavior. She has been very helpful with support for me and my children. She has provided me with tools and resources that have help me be a better parent and partner. I strongly recommend her to anyone who is facing difficulties in their relationships. -Yelp Review

Sheryl lets me feel totally understood and cared for...

I feel unconditional acceptance and heard by Sheryl.

Read Unbiased Consumer Reviews Online at AngiesList.com
angieslist.com/review/8225320
Copyright 2013,  Sheryl A. Isaacs , ALL RIGHTS RESERVED